I like having my own life, and now my little family too. Is that a bad thing?
Not sure, but it's great to know I have an awesome husband that is always here for my son and I, and he can always count on me to be his pillar of strength, support, and unconditional love.
I love having our little boy-a product of Mommy and Daddy.
Is it bad that my life now doesn't revolve around the 'extended family?' I feel like they think it is not acceptable that I have this life of my own.
These thoughts are further exacerbated because I have a child, I feel. There is that certain expectation that they try to hone in on the family, and are just not happy with the way things are right now. It could be I live too close, I am not sure. As a result I have a constant guilt about having my own life.
It's irritating and tiring. I never have the weekend with just our little family, I always include the extended family in it, but it seems, like today, it is never enough.
I can't say/write too much for fear of hurting feelings or expectations-- hell, I can't even write everything I feel here because, though I would love to let it all out, it would annoy/hurt/bother people involved...yet, I feel like it is a right I earned upon reaching adulthood, and it is a right I didn't start to exert until I got married at 29, when I really did grow-up.
Not sure what to say or how to handle things? I would love to just live my life for my family and not worry about nonsense, and deal with people as an adult, but, raised in an Italian family there seem to be some unspoken traditions of this is what you will do, and you will do it even if you do not like it.
Is that why so many people move away from there families? Maybe to have the life and the world that they want to live?
All I know is that when my boy grows up and A) goes to college or B) moves out and starts his life on his own, his Daddy and I are going to worry about him, of course, but we're going to start to live that past life from our younger days and travel and go out and have fun.
Maybe it's a different mindset, I am not sure, but I feel like I am living under a microscope in a very confined box, and I don't like feeling like that as an adult. I was looking fwd to adulthood so that I can make my own decisions, and even personal decisions (or my family decisions) seems to resonate an impact with my now extended family.
So, um, I keep asking myself, when will I gain my independence or is it something I am going to have to make myself, but step on toes to make it happen?